F. Jason Whitaker Writer

When the night comes again I feel the weight of feelings Accumulated over time. I feel the sorrow Of no more tomorrows Spent with you. I'm a solitary traveler Missing the one Who was always there Until she was not there Anymore.

You know your name. You're a thief and a liar. I know you'll soon be gone for good  Because that's what you deserve. I know you'll be buried  And no one will cry At your funeral Because no one will be there...

I'm starting to feel weak everywhere  I stare at the clouds  The blue sky I question why As time makes me mad For all of the things Done to me.

It's another night I turned out the light I'm in bed but I can't sleep I'm feeling so much I'm feeling it all at once I'm missing her I'm missing my life Before all of this mess DSS Put me through.

Monday, August 25, 2025 It's another morning here. I can't believe I'm stuck here in this place. It's difficult to believe that my mom's gone and my cat's somewhere in a foster home. It's so difficult to believe that pretty much everything I owned was stolen including a large amount of money. The old man that lives in the same house as me constantly mumbles into his phone. His voice is irritating. He's hard of hearing. He constantly calls me a different name though he knows my name. I have a meeting with my caseworkers tomorrow and I hope they will be helpful. I'm attending a baseball game tomorrow with my friend Gary and the other church he attends. I'm looking forward to being back in California... I hope it happens soon.

Sunday August 24, 2025 It's a new week and a new day. I'm still here at this place. I'm feeling like I want to go back to sleep.  My friend Gary is out of town but will be back in town for us to go to the LGBTQ support group at FBC. The meeting with my caseworkers is in a couple of days. My hope is that they will support my goal of moving back to California. I'm looking forward to being back in California. I'm planning on watching the Livestream of Christ Chapel of the Valley. My church in North Hollywood. My hope is that I will be able to move to North Hollywood.  If my mom were alive or if I had all of my things I would hesitate about moving back. I'm tired of being here.

I am bitter Anger for the ones Who lied to me As they tore my life Apart as if They were helping me But I know now They're bigger plan To steal everything I had including time With her...