Posts

Friday, March 13, 2026

Friday, March 13, 2026 My disability has been approved but I'm still in the facility in DSS custody. I'm still waiting for my benefits and help figuring out what's next. I would like to move back to California but I don't know how that's going to happen. I need to figure out the housing situation prior to moving back to California. I may end up remaining in Greenville SC. I guess I could deal with small town life in South Carolina if I have to but it won't be easy. I keep looking back over my life at various moments. I miss certain moments throughout my life. I miss her so much. Part of my still has a difficult time believing that she's not here. I'm walking to a few places today: Tropical smoothie Cafe Circle k Taco Bell Jimmy John's It's nice being away from the facility. I feel trapped there most of the time. Tomorrow, my friend Julie is coming up for lunch. I should be attending church Sunday. I miss being home. I wanted to move away from tha...

Thursday, March 12, 2026

Thursday, March 12, 2026 My disability has been approved. I don't know what is to happen next but I'm anxious about the decisions I will have to make soon. Tomorrow I'm going out for breakfast and lunch. I don't know if I will be able to move back to California. I would love to move back to California but I'm uncertain if I will be able to locate housing in California. I'm considering remaining in Greenville. Small town South Carolina.

Wednesday, March 11, 2026

Wednesday, March 11, 2026 It's hot. It's been hot outside. It's hot in this room at the facility I'm being held in DSS custody. I walked over 16.5 miles today. I went to the following places today: Starbucks Tropical smoothie Cafe CVS 7-11 Walgreens Publix Taco Bell I had breakfast and lunch on my walk and I brought dinner back with me. I haven't been hungry today but I've eaten. I still haven't received all of the Mail that had been delivered to the previous facility DSS held me. I have no idea what to think about what's next.

so long

Sometimes I feel so much I don't feel anything But overwhelmed. I'm drifting through each day I'm stuck and I'm lost In this place. I'm uncertain about everything  I'm uncertain about anything. I go through the these hours Waiting for an uncertain time Waiting for what's next after so long.

dreams

I wish I could find that one boy to fall in love with and have him be my first boyfriend. At night I dream of not being alone.  I once started up at the fake stars on my ceiling. I once stood outside even in the cold to look up at the stars in the sky. I dream dreams but I don't know if any of my dreams will ever be achieved 

dreams

I feel time crushing me. Each day is a struggle. Each night I wait for dreams to take me from here if but for a few moments.

here

I'm not even certain about anything but I keep going not knowing where these thoughts shall lead me but life has brought me here to this place.