F. Jason Whitaker Writer

I'm just drifting through Each day another day To reach the end to As I'm dreaming of  Better days to come And the many days That have been that I miss the most...

It's another day alone here, Missing her, Missing those days and nights. I recall the moments We spent in that house, Now I'm many miles away from The house we called home And you're not far from me now But you're in the ground.

I am nowhere familiar, These days unfamiliar, I'm certain of nothing, Days gone I'm remembering, I'm just being in this moment of Day to day living. Last year everything was different, It wasn't great but I miss those days, Last year everything changed in one day And now I'm here waiting For what's next to be... Waiting for my life to truly begin But for now I'm in this in-between...

Saturday, April 25, 2026 It's April, almost May, and I'm beginning to receive my benefits after my disability was approved. I'm working with my caseworkers to locate housing for me in California. I'm also working with them in regards to getting me and my stuff out there. I'm excited and anxious about moving back to California. There's a part of me that would have chosen to live in Greenville or Columbia SC instead of having to worry about all of the details involved with moving back to California. I hate these days of being alone with no place to go and nothing like it was before...

Sometimes everything is too much. Sometimes I need to get away, Sometimes I need to be somewhere Other than where I am now. I think of love and a lover, I think of hope and desire, I think of being close to him The things I could do with him. I'm alone waiting for the one, Love and so much more, Times shared and memories made Together we could make life more bearable.

Sunday night. This afternoon I returned from a trip to the mountains with one of my churches. We went to a camp site near Gorges State Park, the same site we went last year just before I was evicted from the facility I was being kept by DSS. My friend picked me up Thursday morning and we rode up to the mountain on Friday. My friend and I shared the converted horse trailer that we shared the last time. It was great getting away from the facility and all of the noises the old man, my roommate, makes especially at night. My Able sc person is coming out this week for a meeting. A Bingo I attend is next week. I've attended twice and I've won once. I'm going to the dentist soon and I have an appointment with a counselor soon. I'm hopeful about moving back to California and everything working out for the best. I plan to watch the new season of Euphoria tomorrow. I need to call the life insurance company about the check that never arrived. My friend took me to Sam's club Th...