F. Jason Whitaker Writer

Monday, March 02, 2026 A new month. My birthday is this month, the 15th. I'm tired of being in this facility. I'm tired of waiting for the unknown. I miss the way things were before. I mean before she became too sick to do anything. I miss walking to places with her. It's still weird not being home. I wonder what life, daily life, will be like once I get my benefits. I had considered life after her before but I had no idea what it would be like and I definitely never imagined what has happened would ever happen. At lunch today I was the only person not given something to drink. I didn't eat the food. I'm trapped here in the middle of nowhere in South Carolina waiting for the uncertain. I have no idea what's happening next. I don't know if I can believe anything anyone tells me.

Thursday, February 26, 2026 It's another day here in this facility. It's been raining for most of the day. My person from able sc met with me today. I'm anxious about being here and I'm anxious about we what's next. I knew that change was coming soon when I was home a year ago. I knew that she wouldn't be around too much longer but I had the naive thought that she would live a few more years. I miss her more than I could describe. Each day I'm reminded of her passing. Each day I find it difficult to believe that she's gone and I'm here alone. I feel strange being here. I feel out of place. I'm planning to walk somewhere tomorrow...

Too many times I've found myself lost again. I'm in so deep I can't reach the underneath No light gets through. I'm swallowed by these hours I've lost time to the waiting I'm hating myself for the decisions made The things I should have done differently.

The flow of hours Towers of memories Come crashing down. I'm overwhelmed by the memories Of times I want to live again. Where do I begin When I don't know where I'm going next?

Each day I feel the weight of every day of my life. I confide in no one the deepest thoughts of my soul. I told no one the secret of my life. I'm not ordinary, I'm not like anyone you've ever met. I've sat alone watching the clouds. I've been here for too long. I'm going through things you'll never know. No waiting for things to happen I'm on my way.

Wednesday, February 25, 2026 Wednesday. Tomorrow my person with Able sc is coming here. I hope this meeting is productive. I'm anxious about what's going to happen next. I'm worried about where I'll live and what my life will be like. Things would be different if my things and a large amount of money hadn't been stolen from me. I'm not going anywhere tomorrow but I plan on going somewhere Friday. I hurt my foot today.