F. Jason Whitaker Writer

Wednesday, March 04, 2026 Today has been a long day. I left here this morning to have breakfast at Eggs up Grill. I had a free breakfast but it was almost lunch when I arrived. The food and service was great. My toe is still hurting. I walked at least 15 miles today. I went to circle k, twice to one location and once to another location, obtaining 2 free circle k chocolate bars and buying a TY cat at the other location. I went to Publix and I bought a few items on sale. I went to Taco Bell for 3 free items: one of the potatoes with cheese and two Baja Blast frozen beverages. I also went to Spinx for a free energy drink I won on the app and I gave it to a staff member at the facility I'm currently living. I'm tired but not sure if I could sleep. I returned the Xbox game I had borrowed from the library. I'm considering walking somewhere tomorrow...

  Tuesday, March 03, 2026 Today was definitely different than I had imagined last night. My friend Gary picked me up and took me to The Cheesecake factory. He bought me lunch for my birthday which isn't until the 15th. He bought me 2: Xbox One games for my birthday. We went by Walmart on the way to The Cheesecake factory. He took me by my bank afterwards. Today was a good day. Tomorrow I'm walking to get a free breakfast and other things. I need to get myself to focus and work on my writing. I need to get some writing completed. I'm planning to walk other places this month.

Monday, March 02, 2026 A new month. My birthday is this month, the 15th. I'm tired of being in this facility. I'm tired of waiting for the unknown. I miss the way things were before. I mean before she became too sick to do anything. I miss walking to places with her. It's still weird not being home. I wonder what life, daily life, will be like once I get my benefits. I had considered life after her before but I had no idea what it would be like and I definitely never imagined what has happened would ever happen. At lunch today I was the only person not given something to drink. I didn't eat the food. I'm trapped here in the middle of nowhere in South Carolina waiting for the uncertain. I have no idea what's happening next. I don't know if I can believe anything anyone tells me.

Thursday, February 26, 2026 It's another day here in this facility. It's been raining for most of the day. My person from able sc met with me today. I'm anxious about being here and I'm anxious about we what's next. I knew that change was coming soon when I was home a year ago. I knew that she wouldn't be around too much longer but I had the naive thought that she would live a few more years. I miss her more than I could describe. Each day I'm reminded of her passing. Each day I find it difficult to believe that she's gone and I'm here alone. I feel strange being here. I feel out of place. I'm planning to walk somewhere tomorrow...

Too many times I've found myself lost again. I'm in so deep I can't reach the underneath No light gets through. I'm swallowed by these hours I've lost time to the waiting I'm hating myself for the decisions made The things I should have done differently.

The flow of hours Towers of memories Come crashing down. I'm overwhelmed by the memories Of times I want to live again. Where do I begin When I don't know where I'm going next?