Numb
Do I feel anything?
I've been numb so often.
These days are strange,
Hours of waiting,
Hours of debating.
I'm unsure of tomorrow,
The days to come,
The times after being
Stuck in the same place
For so long.
Monday, April 21, 2025
Monday, April 21, 2025 Monday. I went after breakfast this morning. I kept waking up last night. I'm anxious about everything. I want to do so much and I want to do nothing at the same time. I'm avoiding things. I've always avoided things. This morning I found out that someone I once knew died several years ago. It's strange this weight of missing someone. I've always met people who I automatically wanted to be around. This attraction is not a sexual attraction but something more meaningful. I don't know how it works. I don't know why the people I clinge to are the people that I want to be around... I do know now that my connection with certain people is from me being Autistic. I'm not good at communicating with people. I don't randomly message people too often. There have been people who I wish I had talked to more. There's people that I wish I could spend time with again. Some of these people are now dead. I hate being alone most of the time...
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