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F. Jason Whitaker Writer

feelings

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- September 28, 2025

I'm in this horrible place

A space in my mind

I've been these years

Never knowing how trapped

I've been by the emotions

Strongly felt

Most of my life.

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Friday, January 17, 2025

- January 17, 2025

Friday, January 17, 2025 It appears that TikTok will be banned in the next few days. This shows how the government of the US is not a democracy. Why are politicians afraid of the people having a platform to share our thoughts? People keep saying how great Biden was but if he was so great he would not have signed into law a ban on the voices of the people of this country. F$%K Biden. I was on a dating app and I matched with someone. We started a conversation and I thought things were going well and then they blocked me. Is it possible for me to meet a real person who I'm attracted to who's attracted to me? I've had a few dreams that included the band Twenty one pilots. I love the band. I need someone to share my day to day life with, someone to cuddle with, and someone to have sex with... I have to be attracted to this person. If I'm not attracted to them we could still be friends but nothing beyond friends. I feel weird about my body. I feel very unattractive. I wonder...

Alone

- May 09, 2025

Woke up alone again, another morning of solitude aware of my isolation.

Monday, April 21, 2025

- April 21, 2025

Monday, April 21, 2025 Monday. I went after breakfast this morning. I kept waking up last night. I'm anxious about everything. I want to do so much and I want to do nothing at the same time. I'm avoiding things. I've always avoided things. This morning I found out that someone I once knew died several years ago. It's strange this weight of missing someone. I've always met people who I automatically wanted to be around. This attraction is not a sexual attraction but something more meaningful. I don't know how it works. I don't know why the people I clinge to are the people that I want to be around... I do know now that my connection with certain people is from me being Autistic. I'm not good at communicating with people. I don't randomly message people too often. There have been people who I wish I had talked to more. There's people that I wish I could spend time with again. Some of these people are now dead. I hate being alone most of the time...