1
I recall the 1
Oxnard shores to Santa Monica.
I recall the ocean
On my right
Those days
Seem too unreal.
I feel like going back
To the place
I was before all of this.
Monday, April 21, 2025
Monday, April 21, 2025 Monday. I went after breakfast this morning. I kept waking up last night. I'm anxious about everything. I want to do so much and I want to do nothing at the same time. I'm avoiding things. I've always avoided things. This morning I found out that someone I once knew died several years ago. It's strange this weight of missing someone. I've always met people who I automatically wanted to be around. This attraction is not a sexual attraction but something more meaningful. I don't know how it works. I don't know why the people I clinge to are the people that I want to be around... I do know now that my connection with certain people is from me being Autistic. I'm not good at communicating with people. I don't randomly message people too often. There have been people who I wish I had talked to more. There's people that I wish I could spend time with again. Some of these people are now dead. I hate being alone most of the time...
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