F. Jason Whitaker Writer

I feel vibrations Music through  Your body. I'm finding myself In the moments I spend with you.

Sometimes I can feel the years of my life In a moment, a feeling, in flashes Of moments over time.

Room is hot Stripped down To nothing Still warm But comfortable. I'm naked Sleeping In a strange place Waiting for that day I'll have my own space...

I don't even know where I'm going I don't have a clue to what tomorrow Will be when I'm drifting through Like a lost ship at sea. I'm not going anywhere at the moment Stuck in-between in nowhere, I'm waiting to be told I can now go somewhere I've been dreaming of being there again Since I left there so many years ago.

I'm falling into pieces My Life crumbled Into pieces.

Woke up alone again Clouds everywhere Chance of rain Temperature not gaining And I'm wondering Will I be stuck indoors Will I be trapped in this place Trying to do so much but never getting Anything done 

I've been better I haven't been great In so long. I'm tired Of my circumstances Can you see My daily life? I'm stuck in misery Waiting for history Waiting to be away from here, Finding my way back To a place I've been happy.

I wish I could stay, In memory, In that place At your bedside. I could live eternal Watching old shows At your side Never leaving you. I could live forever Close to you As you told stories From your life 

The dust arose across the plains Everyone strains to see the future days, I'm watching on my own These events unfold Like a bad fairy tale told From water damaged books To whoever will hear These stories foretold, I've seen the days gone In my memory in my mind Lost to change and The tearing apart of my life By those with power over me.

This song started so well But I could tell From the start It was doomed to fail Just another tale Told so often You already know The ending before The first words Are sung.

Stars dot my eyes Night sky in view Waiting for answers to my prayer As time pulls me along alone on this path. I have nothing I had before, Starting over again I find it difficult to do anything But I keep waking up I keep going forward With each day filled with uncertainty.

He stood alone in the shadows of The enemy towering above Turned this country into misery, A hero arrives to fight the corrupt Take back what was never perfect But at least it was better than this Orange mess we find ourselves in 2026.

Alone Another road traveled down Another day Alone Finding my way To another place Distant but familiar I'm heading west To find hope and peace My prayer for a way For things to be A path for me Leading me to the places I need to be.

It's getting later I could never hate you I've never met you But I  Know I want you in me. I've been sitting alone Dreaming of loving someone. I'm not desperate I'm just ready For when I finally meet him.

Sun departing Behind the mountains I'm hearing the birds And the wind whisper, I'm not here for you I've got my own motivation. You can feel me for the moment But I'm not yours to keep. At night when I sleep I dream dreams of things lost I'm missing what I had Before they took my life And broke it into pieces...

Where I've been these months Watching clouds Watching distant mountains I've been observing time A passenger of... Watching through tears Life altering events Unfolding like a map of life.

I've got a song in my head The words are things I should have said, I've been waiting for life to begin When this started with their lies, I'm feeling these days on my mind I can't find a resolution until there's a solution To everything I've been through. Since June third I have heard The same words But I seek what no other can find. I've got a song on my mind It's not the kind to disguise The truth with fancy words or pamphlets...

When the rain comes down Try not to frown Things are not as bad Let's not be sad, There's no need to pretend  Sunny days will be again, As the night fills the sky With stars and the moon You'll know soon enough The dawn will be again Let's not pretend or presume anything But as the world spins on each hour It's best to remember that this too shall pass...

I've been here for these many days Trying to find ways to get through Trying to figure out who I am now After my life was turned upside down. You can take me away with you Show me the possibilities Lead me to a place of hope Far from this miserable place.

What are we doing now? I feel trapped inside Whenever I think of my life, Trying to survive each day I've got no place else to go I'm in-between my former self And the me I hope to be Once I get my life started...

Each morning new I find myself again Aware of the changes Last year brought After seeking something so long I'm in the middle of changes taking place, I'm trying to get by wondering when This temporary thing will end for something Like a life for me to being living.

I've got no place to be I'm here waiting For the uncertainty. I'm solo on this journey, I'm trying to get through Each day is a journey Within the bigger journey Life keeps moving While I keep waiting...

Waking up Late night I find this place A foreign space Not recognized Too different from What I once knew As my life and my home...

If I could let you know How I feel standing next to you, My heart goes out of tune Whenever I'm near you, My body hurts to Walk away, I'm going to say these things But you'll never know how I feel Whenever you are close to me, I'm just saying these things To put it out into the universe. This isn't about one boy but several I've met in my life...

I held you in my hand I loved you from the start From the first day We slept on your sofa In the living room. We were something But I don't have the words To describe what we were Though I know deep down What I wanted us to become Could never have been...

It was just another night I met him somewhere online I wrapped my dick in a condom Slid into him like it was common Not a once in a while occurrence. I was at home inside of him, He was bent over my bed I was deep inside while outside Life went on as usual Not aware of me filling him Not aware of my longing For more than this physical interaction, I never get a reaction for more than sex From guys I find attractive.

Blue sky day Starry night Life between the Changes in light. I struggle with the hours Of waiting Times of changes My entire life rearranging Out of my control...

At night I'm lonely Wanting someone, Alone in a strange place.

On the floor In front of you, I found myself Captivated by your taste. In my mouth you were, I wanted it to never end But our night together Ended as the best nights Of my life always ended Never to repeat again.

I feel your foreskin, A memory of when I was with you, One night together  We spoke before I took you In my mouth. Feelings, Emotional, I forgot the world While with you. I taste you In memory Longing for you Even after the years passed...

It feels so strange These days and nights  In this unfamiliar place. I'm in this mood  I'm anxious to leave I'm looking forward to  Moving to another state It feels strange These hours alone  Dreaming of those Times before...

I'm beginning to wonder Is anything worth anything, Time is flowing And I'm not going Anywhere most days While I'm waiting  While I'm hating The ones that took me And placed me in these places.

I've been sleeping through Another day I'm alone all of these days Another day Spent waiting for Something I don't know When it'll come. Another day  Watching time pass Will I last Or will I fall apart?

Last year is gone She is gone  Now I'm trying To move forward Her dying left me Broken I'm just here Trying to move on But these days of waiting Feel so along and alone With my thoughts of The things that occurred And the regret for the things I messed up.

Days of long ago I was there with you But you may not remember me. I loved you You meant so much to me  But you went your own direction But I remember holding your erection Having you in my mouth. I can see you From those moments We shared in your bed And so many places We kissed  And sometimes You squeezed my cock while sitting in the van.

Sometimes I see you in memory, I could hold you once more In my mind I rewind time to Find you again and remember the way You were before You changed before the end. You were everything to me I never knew how it would Ruin me to lose you But now I'm here Missing you every hour I'm recalling the days gone.