F. Jason Whitaker Writer

Early morning before sunrise I feel those feelings again Each time I recall her passing I'm going through it again, Those feelings like reliving Those moments of sorrow All over again knowing I'll keep feeling these feelings Until there's no tomorrow...

I'm a solitary traveler My journey is life My destination is I'm going somewhere Someday I'll be there I'm a solitary traveler I don't know how much longer It'll be before I'm leaving here for there It's a long distance I'm going to travel I'm heading back to California It's been years since I've been there But it feels like I've never left there...

It's strange These days Waking up here alone Merry Christmas I'd say to you I'd hug you I'd spend the day by your side I miss those days I miss the times We spent each day and night.

I feel you though you're not here, I'm staying here until I don't know when...

I have no time for anything I'm wandering these roads In search of something I'll never find here...

I'm just here alone Straining to get through Another day since Things changed forever My life altered by These things of life and death... I've been here waiting Since before her last breath And now I'm missing her  Each day struggling through The sorrow that'll never Leave me...

It's late at night I'm awake thinking I've got so many things to think about I'm restless and uncertain about these things I've got on my mind Late at night I'm thinking About those future days And the days I miss the most I want to go back To before loss was a friend of mine.

So much wrong with the everyday Life stuck in this in-between place I recall her face And I'm lost Without her.

I'm going through these days Nights alone missing you, I'm feeling things I never knew, Crushed by the weight of the absence I'm wondering how things will be after This phase in the process of my life. I'm going through too much Lost in the empty of these emotions Gathered over the years Now coming to the surface. I'm stuck in this misery Waiting for hope to find me And take me from this place I've been left abandoned.

I feel the times before in my mind How much they remind me Of all that's been lost. I'm not okay, Not been since Before I remember when. These years fade into I'm drifting in-between Memories of times gone I want to hold onto But memories lingering Are all I have from when Before things changed Leaving me here alone in this place...

 I'm waiting for the sun to wake me I'm awake dreaming I'm making moments of memories Looking back over the years I'm missing...

 Dare I say the words I've been thinking all of my life, I struggle to get through each day without you, I'm falling apart on the inside  As with each day  I'm wondering if I can go on Ignore the pain of your absence Ignore my need for you in my life again. I've lost so much  I feel the voids Tearing me apart I fail to start Because I don't want to fail again  My life is full of failing I'm telling you the deepest sadness of my heart Where do I start? When there's so much sorrow in my life...

 A crowded room I'm alone Standing by another tree Trying to find What I've been missing All of my life I've been a dreamer Watching everyone I've ever known Moving on from me, I'm writing this in my room in the dark In the middle of the night While wishing I wasn't alone.

 It's another Monday morning before sunrise I feel alone everytime I hear that song About going home Now that I don't have a home to go back to... These minutes I wait Dreaming of a better life I wonder if it's just not meant to be...

These towns, I feel these spaces Rotating through space. I'm drifting through Temporary residing Not hiding myself But not fully me While waiting to see Where life shall take me next  There's more for me Than being here Alone dreaming of a place for me...

I've been my own stranger, I'm feeling stranger than ever, My mind wrestling with the time difference, Days and years this distance measured in But I forgot how much time passing Nothing lasting forever But in my mind I hold on to The moments I've had in the past. I'm not feeling this This place I'm being in This moment I'm trapped by Confined to this time and place While I'm waiting for the next place I'm heading...

I woke again today, Same place as yesterday, Nothing new to do but I have Nowhere else to go So I remain here Waiting for the day A day to be someday When I'll finally be free.