F. Jason Whitaker Writer

            This blog is continued on my Patreon. https://www.patreon.com/jason29171 Please visit and share my Gofundme. https://gofund.me/d8706bba Please purchase and read my books of poetry: https://amzn.to/3SBfKtX https://amzn.to/3YNGb3k Monday, June 30, 2025 I became overwhelmed last night thinking about the fact that they lock the door of the houses at night. I was able to get to sleep and I woke up not so late. I feel tired now. I don't feel like doing anything....

I hold on to memories  I feel the moments I'm there but never there Just a glimpse of What once was Holding onto something I lost on my way here.

These tears I hold back At the edges of my eyes  Remind me  Of the times To come To change my life In ways I'm not yet aware of... I hold it in Deep down inside Trying to hide  From the pain inside As things keep happening To me...

Save me I need you To save me From those who would End me. I'm alone In this world  Wondering How I will keep going When she has breathed Her last breath...

Summer day  I pretend to know  What deep inside is  Hidden within A puzzle inside  A maze I hide With all of the things I wanted to forget But those things  Those memories  Never went away...

I've gone miles From my home  I've lost so much Again. I'm in the middle Of losing my mind Again I'm lost Afraid of what's next.

I miss the way you would tell Stories Of those days of Your life. I miss the Times we shared I cared so much  For you That now we're apart I feel my heart sinking Deeper into sorrow Like there's no tomorrow And all we could ever have Is far behind us...

I'm here alone Thinking of you Being alone. I think of you And the times We once had. It makes me sad I want to cry Knowing those days Those nights together Will never happen again...

           This blog is continued on my Patreon. https://www.patreon.com/jason29171 Please visit and share my Gofundme. https://gofund.me/d8706bba Please purchase and read my books of poetry: https://amzn.to/3SBfKtX https://amzn.to/3YNGb3k Sunday, June 29, 2025 Breakfast was not served until 1030. The food here at Ruby Donald assisted living facility in Greenville County South Carolina is not nutritionally balanced. The food at the hospital was better. I'm trapped here. I need someone to sign me out to leave the property. I'm watching the new season of The Bear. I've exercised some and I plan to exercise more today. I don't know what else I will do today because there's not much to do here...

I never thought that day could be The last day I'd ever see you. I'm trapped in a prison Of old folks In an assisted living facility. I miss you each day And I replay memories of you While trying to get through  Another day away from you.

          This blog is continued on my Patreon. https://www.patreon.com/jason29171 Please visit and share my Gofundme. https://gofund.me/d8706bba Please purchase and read my books of poetry: https://amzn.to/3SBfKtX https://amzn.to/3YNGb3k Saturday, June 28, 2025 It's Saturday. I'm still in the Ruby Donald assisted living facility in Greenville County South Carolina. I'm stuck here with the old people. I can't leave the property without being signed out. I was supposed to receive a backpack from Chiquita Bananas but I haven't received it yet. I went to bed early and woke up early. I've completed my daily sweepstakes and instant win games for today. I've exercised a few times today. I plan to exercise more today.

Slowly I'm aware Of the crimes They committed Against me When they stole everything From me.

I watched the sunrise  Reminded myself I'm still here. If only I could  Be free of this prison I could be me Without limitations. I'm trapped in this place Far from where I was And I'm more alone now  Than ever before...

         This blog is continued on my Patreon. https://www.patreon.com/jason29171 Please visit and share my Gofundme. https://gofund.me/d8706bba Please purchase and read my books of poetry: https://amzn.to/3SBfKtX https://amzn.to/3YNGb3k Friday, June 27, 2025 I'm still here at Ruby Donald assisted living facility in Greenville County South Carolina. I've completed my sweepstakes and instant win games for today. I've exercised. I've been doing daily vlogs. I post my vlogs on tiktok LinkedIn and YouTube. I don't know what else I'm doing today...

           This blog is continued on my Patreon. https://www.patreon.com/jason29171 Please visit and share my Gofundme. https://gofund.me/d8706bba Please purchase and read my books of poetry: https://amzn.to/3SBfKtX https://amzn.to/3YNGb3k Thursday, June 26, 2025 I forgot to post yesterday. There's thunderstorms today and there were thunderstorms yesterday. I don't know what will happen to me. I need help establishing a good and steady income so I can live on my own...

Sounds of night Open window, I feel time In my mind In segments of moments People and places From my entire life...

I've been waking up in this strange place, I have my own space But I miss home and you You're often on my mind As I try to wind down After days of trapped here, I'm on my own here With the conversations In my head And the memories Of life before that day June 3rd 3025...

          This blog is continued on my Patreon. https://www.patreon.com/jason29171 Please visit and share my Gofundme. https://gofund.me/d8706bba Please purchase and read my books of poetry: https://amzn.to/3SBfKtX https://amzn.to/3YNGb3k Tuesday, June 24, 2025 I've been tired today. I became overwhelmed last night. I've been posting more often to Tiktok. I've been doing a daily vlog. Not just one video a day but several videos...

I am overwhelmed, The sadness of a lifetime Pressing against my mind Trying to escape the places within I'm trying to keep going I try to have hope But these hours of thinking Brings me closer to the edge As the tears escape my eyes I find myself regretting so many things.

I don't know what tomorrow will bring, Words of a song I wish I could sing, I want you in my bed tonight Be my boyfriend and be real tight. I could cuddle all day with you  Make you moan all night long.

In my waking dreams I find him, He's the boy I'm destined to find, He'll remind me I'm still alive He'll be the one who makes me smile. I imagine him being close to me I fill his mouth and I feel at ease With his body between my legs Me wanting him deeper inside  Penetrating my mind with his words of love.

         This blog is continued on my Patreon. https://www.patreon.com/jason29171 Please visit and share my Gofundme. https://gofund.me/d8706bba Please purchase and read my books of poetry: https://amzn.to/3SBfKtX https://amzn.to/3YNGb3k Monday, June 23, 2025 I'm still here at the Ruby Donald assisted living facility in Greenville County South Carolina. My guardian ad... was here this morning. I don't know what will happen to me. I feel tired today. It's Monday. I'm watching the Minecraft movie again...

I've been here for days, I've forgotten what it was like To watch you sleep. I'm on my own No one as close to me  As you were. I might not see you again I'll forever miss The times we had. I'm sad to know you're suffering And I can't be at your side.

        This blog is continued on my Patreon. https://www.patreon.com/jason29171 Please visit and share my Gofundme. https://gofund.me/d8706bba Please purchase and read my books of poetry: https://amzn.to/3SBfKtX https://amzn.to/3YNGb3k Sunday, June 22, 2025 I'm still here at the Ruby Donald assisted living facility in Greenville County South Carolina. I've been here since Thursday. Before being taken here I was in the hospital ER since the 3rd of June. DSS removed me from my home. I was only able to bring a few of my things. I don't know what has happened to my things. They may have been stolen or thrown away by someone. DSS gave the key to the house to this evil person. DSS brought me some clothes, toiletries and a TV but I have plenty of clothes in my house. I don't like the clothes I have now. These are not clothes I'd wear and they're too big.

Hey it's me. I'm near the mountains In Greenville South Carolina. I'm not going anywhere  Because I'm not allowed To be anywhere but here. I'm a prisoner, Taken from my home And everything I loved  I'm a prisoner Trapped in the middle of nowhere.

I know a thief, He's stealing everything I had, Michael is a thief.

I'm trapped in this place, Waiting for others to Determine my future for me.

       This blog is continued on my Patreon. https://www.patreon.com/jason29171 Please visit and share my Gofundme. https://gofund.me/d8706bba Please purchase and read my books of poetry: https://amzn.to/3SBfKtX https://amzn.to/3YNGb3k Saturday, June 21, 2025 It's been a minute. I was in the hospital ER from the 3rd of June until this past Thursday morning. I'm now in Greenville, SC. They took me from Baptist Hospital in Columbia sc and moved me to Ruby Donald assisted living facility. I am not allowed to. leave the property. The food here isn't adequate in regards to nutrition. The hospital food was so much better. I've spoken with some of the old people here and they tell me that they don't do much aside from sitting around and watching TV. They told me they play bingo sometimes and have a Bible study. I lost interest in Bible studies after a Bible study led by people who know less about the Bible than me. A couple of the old people told me they go to places somet...

If I could change so much My life would be sans trauma.

I'm not going to say I'm fine being single I have never had a boyfriend. I'm not sure if I'll ever find  Anyone to be mine. I'm feeling lonely, I want someone to pull me closer, I need someone to fill me I need someone who needs filling. I'm already hard for you Though we've not met I'm ready to spend some time In the bedroom Together.

I don't know you're name, We met those years ago, I sat beside you in the living room Of my Hollywood apartment. On my knees I found you I pulled back your foreskin,  Placed your tip in my mouth. I wanted that moment to go on forever But times like to that don't happen often And those times shared end too soon. I wanted love but all I got was you in my mouth  And a cuddle afterwards.

I can say the word, I can imagine the time, My legs wrapped around you. I can see you above me, It was the best I've ever had. I liked your body inside my body, I wanted more of you, I often look back on that moment I looked up at you And I felt so wonderful.

It's a memory A piece of my history, I found you You met me And together We had a moment together On my bed I've remembered Like it's always Yesterday.

It is not fine, I'm finding the line Between getting by  And giving up. I want someone to be In my life. I have space for you Just come inside. I feel the feelings I've felt  So long I forgot what life was  Before I knew so much  About who I am.

I've got no place to be, I've been here so long now, My feelings rush and I'm not ok. I want more from life  Than empty promises, I've been here before  And I don't like this feeling... I'm trapped in-between,  A place of confusion As my life falls apart.

I'm alone wishing I could be with someone Who could love me. I'm watching time go by And still single am I. I have a need To find a boyfriend. I feel myself wanting someone To be on top of me.

Looking at the ceiling, Room #8, Watching TV, Trying to figure out what to believe. I'm not certain of anything. Time passes with no notice It's a blur of seconds Of hours awake between moments asleep. I have dreams while awake I shake myself awake. No day or night When there's no windows. I've been here these weeks Waiting for a new home.

Another day and I'm still here, Watching from my hospital bed, Wondering when I'll be moving To wherever they send me to... I've been in this place since the 3rd  And I've forgotten what the outside world  Looks like.

In these hours awake I'm alone But in my dreams There's many people there I know Why can't my days Be like My dreams?

I've gone through many things, Sorrow all of my life, Now I'm going through again Something too sad to express. Changes are happening, I'm in-between.

Green grass brown picnic basket, I found memories of you  I thought I had forgotten forever. I live in moments like these, Times I had before  But I feel I might  Never experience again.

Woke up in this room again, Number 5, last one on the left. I'm not sure of anything  I have been here for these days  Waiting for the next place I will Live my life I'm not strong I'm just getting by Barely able to get through another day, Time is meaningless in a room  With no windows. I'm not saying I'm fine but when I say I'm fine  I'm really feeling something else deep inside.

      This blog is continued on my Patreon. https://www.patreon.com/jason29171 Please visit and share my Gofundme. https://gofund.me/d8706bba Please purchase and read my books of poetry: https://amzn.to/3SBfKtX https://amzn.to/3YNGb3k Saturday, June 07, 2025 It's been a few days since posting. Some changes occurred. I'm in the hospital. They tell me that they are looking for a place for me to live. I don't know if I will post each day because most days are the same with me in a hospital bed.

Waking up again in this room, I've been here for days, I'm not feeling okay And I've got nothing to do But stay in bed And become sad When I remember my life Before...

These hours of not knowing what Will happen next I think of those times I assumed would never end. I miss those days When things were Not as they are now I'm here alone Wishing I was With you And we were home Like it was those years ago...

     This blog is continued on my Patreon. https://www.patreon.com/jason29171 Please visit and share my Gofundme. https://gofund.me/d8706bba Please purchase and read my books of poetry: https://amzn.to/3SBfKtX https://amzn.to/3YNGb3k Monday, June 02, 2025 My Instagram and Facebook have been suspended because I've been sharing anti Trump posts. I'm being taken to a medical clinic tomorrow. I'm overwhelmed and anxious.

    This blog is continued on my Patreon. https://www.patreon.com/jason29171 Please visit and share my Gofundme. https://gofund.me/d8706bba Please purchase and read my books of poetry: https://amzn.to/3SBfKtX https://amzn.to/3YNGb3k Sunday, June 01, 2025 Happy Pride!