The Future Waits

I stare at the clock hanging above the now abandoned diner counter of the Greyhound station I am waiting inside, ready to leave my past behind for an uncertain future, my mom at my side, and I wonder if I will ever be here again.

We do not speak, no words could express these opposing feelings, what we feel when we feel so much about this day and what it means. I'm about to board a bus, to cross the country, to follow after my dreams so often dreamt I feel as though I have already lived them a thousand times.

People pass us, they on their own journeys, as though we are not present. Are we ghosts in some memory? A memory of a time so long ago, now fading with each passing year, to one day be lost to time?

My bus will be here shortly. I hug my mom once again. I would kiss her on the cheek but feel odd about such a gesture in such a public place. I want to remember this moment. I want to hold on to these minutes. A mental time travel I know so well from reliving the times gone.

For a moment I think of Boy Scouts. I think of Summer. I think of desire. I think of the boy I was, now I am a man leaving home for college, as a different person. I am no longer him. He is only a thing of memory.

The thoughts of the past fade. I shall think of them again but now I must say goodbye to my mom. The bus approaches. I wonder if this, moving so far, is a giant mistake that will haunt me the rest of my days. No time to mourn. No time for second thoughts concerning decision made.

I stand in line. Ticket in hand. I see her waiting for me to board the bus. She'll stand there until the bus is out of sight. Then she will go home. Will she think of me as often as I think of her? 

I find a seat. I look out the window. I wave to her one more time. I want to remain here but I know that I must go. I have no other option. The future waits...